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Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

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A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

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Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

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The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

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I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

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I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

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17,095

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14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Making waves on Discord:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Trending via Discord:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Brace yourself for the ultimate plot twist—advice from the 60s crew! 😂🎢

40s, 50, 50s, age, being, humor, life, life stage, listening, people, say, stage, wait, waiting, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never trust a wet fart.

1 month ago
advice, caution, fart, humor, trust, wet
People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

1 month ago
diet, food, frustration, humor, lunch, mad, people
My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

1 month ago
absolutely, child, development, humor, i, know, knowledge, linguistic, linguistic development, nothing, parenting, stage, why, why stage
I really can’t wait until it all works out.

4 months ago
anticipation, humor, i, optimism, patience, wait, waiting, works
Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

1 month ago
30s, 40s, age, aging, car, check, check engine light, decade, engine, enjoy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, light, midlife
The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

1 month ago
activity, chewing, dependence, humor, snack, TV, volume

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Spotted on Twitch:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Just shared via Slack:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Breaking via Discord:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Making waves on YouTube:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Trending via Telegram:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

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Activity Log ✨

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Never trust a wet fart.

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Life is short, flirt with me!

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Earth is hard.

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The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Never trust a wet fart.

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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