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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Going viral on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Trending via Instagram:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Seen just now on Slack:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Just landed via YouTube:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote imagining a humorous zoo with people from every nation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you realize backpacking through Europe is just visiting the human zoo! 🎒🌍😂 #CulturalSafari"

commentary, country, diversity, every, humor, multicultural, people, satire, should, social, social commentary, zoo

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

35 shares on X this month:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

37 shares on Slack this month:

You lose some, you lose some more.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

41 shares on Threads this month:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Just shared via Threads:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Making waves on Threads:

The world started without permission again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Spotted on Instagram:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Just shared via X:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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