Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's why smokers get extra breaks – it's like time-off compensation! ⏳🚬 Sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the… smoke break? 😂 #WorkPerks"

break, breaks, give, health, humor, irony, lifespan, smoker, smokers, taken, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

2 weeks ago

blowing, chat, communication, distraction, frustration, group, group chat, humor, nothing, patience, phone, tests, texting
Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

3 weeks ago

adult, adult humor, boner, erection, getting, humor, instruction, instructions, Lego, me, telling, toy
You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

1 week ago

good, humor, mark, nap, rest, sleep
Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

3 weeks ago

Earth, everyone, humor, i, know, live, living, media, need, people, posting, privacy, social, social media, stop, where
I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

3 weeks ago

bring, dining, food, humor, i, joke, lot, restaurant, service, table, waiter, wit
A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

3 weeks ago

away, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, food, garlic, health, humor, routine, wellness

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on X this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

At least life has music.

54 shares on Discord this month:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Live now on Reddit:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Just shared via Slack:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Live now on X:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨