Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Someone to hold you? You mean like a personal hugging device? 🤖🤗 Or maybe just a set of extra long arms for those hard-to-reach cuddle moments? 🦾🤗 Just imagine the possibilities! 😉"

companionship, hold, humor, invent, invention, loneliness, me, should, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

0

2 months ago

dignity, everyone, history, irony, media, online, person, posting, social, social media
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

0

2 months ago

commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding
When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

0

3 months ago

bad, career, choice, dream, dreams, follow, going, humor, job, job market, life, life choice, market, motivation, unemployment
It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

0

2 months ago

amazing, birthday, celebration, dentist, family, feel, friends, humor, love, lovers, smoothie, yoga
Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

0

2 months ago

focus, home, humor, inside, introvert, job, quarantine, quitting, staying, staying inside, work, work from home
I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

0

2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, parent, parenting, patience, patient

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Live now on Messenger:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Going bananas on Discord:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Making waves on Messenger:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Spreading quickly via X:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent someone who holds me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨