They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.