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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Going viral on Reddit:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Just shared via Facebook:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Just landed via Discord:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Just shared via Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Live now on YouTube:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Holy cheese, I'm ready to Brie-lieve! 🧀🙏🤣

around, cheese, dairy, food, food idea, funny thought, humor, idea, joke, religion, starting, thinking, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

0

2 months ago

behavior, best, betrayal, dirty, empowerment, gone, goodbye, honesty, know, relationships, self-awareness, stay, thing, toxic, toxic behavior
You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

0

2 months ago

anger, beef, food, fridge, got, humor, hunger, hungry, joke, mad, me, none, why
I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

0

2 months ago

everyone, expectations, hours, humor, i, know, love, movie, movy, reality, relationship, romance, time
A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

0

2 months ago

agreement, communication, dialogue, humor, man, marriage, relationship, right, sarcasm, wisdom, yes
Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

0

2 months ago

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch
Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, humor quote, joke, lamps, lighten, lighten up, need, normalize, people, sarcasm, throwing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Just landed via Messenger:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Spotted on Discord:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Trending via Threads:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Going viral on YouTube:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨