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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,844

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Spotted on Twitch:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Just landed via YouTube:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

0
This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just sprinkle some espresso into the holy water, it's the perfect blend of caffeine and blessings ☕️💦 #DivineAwakening"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

43 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Drive like no one is watching.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,009

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Live now on Reddit:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The world started without permission again.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Just shared via Threads:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

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