Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Spotted on Slack:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Breaking via X:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Just landed via TikTok:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Making waves on YouTube:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Live now on WeChat:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Just sprinkle some espresso into the holy water, it's the perfect blend of caffeine and blessings ☕️💦 #DivineAwakening"

addiction, caffeine, coffee, coffee addiction, coffee joke, holy, holy water, humor, i, joke, morning, morning routine, need, routine, think, water, working

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Slack this month:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

43 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Farting, but with eye contact.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine being social on social media.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just landed via Telegram:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You wish you had this many chins.

Just shared via TikTok:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Making waves on YouTube:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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