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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Spotted on YouTube:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Spotted on Telegram:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Freshly posted on X:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Just landed via WeChat:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Going viral on Telegram:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Freshly posted on X:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

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Commentary:
When your stomach is stuck in the greatest plot twist of all snack time 🍬😂🤔

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Breaking via Facebook:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Just landed via WeChat:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Making waves on Messenger:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

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