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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Just landed via Discord:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Going viral on Messenger:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Going viral on Slack:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Live now on WeChat:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Just landed via YouTube:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Living in a world where kindness is considered a superpower! 🦸‍♂️ Who knew that being a decent human being would require so much courage and resilience? 💪 Keep spreading those good vibes in this chaotic era, you're our beacon of hope! 🌟 #DecencyRevolution"

being, commentary, decent, decent human, existential, existential humor, history, horrible, horrible time, human, humor, irony, social, social commentary, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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70 shares on YouTube this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

80 shares on Discord this month:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

32 shares on WeChat this month:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

17 shares on Threads this month:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Going viral on TikTok:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Seen just now on Discord:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Just shared via Slack:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Live now on YouTube:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Live now on Threads:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Trending via Discord:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

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