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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Trending via WeChat:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

2 months ago

0

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living in a world where kindness is considered a superpower! 🦸‍♂️ Who knew that being a decent human being would require so much courage and resilience? 💪 Keep spreading those good vibes in this chaotic era, you're our beacon of hope! 🌟 #DecencyRevolution"

being, commentary, decent, decent human, existential, existential humor, history, horrible, horrible time, human, humor, irony, social, social commentary, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

0

1 month ago

1, accidental, accidental save, accidentally, computer, computer frustration, digital, digital life, dramatic, duplication, end, file, file duplication, file management, file saving, frustration, funny moment, humor, i, life, management, moment, save, saving, technology, technology humor, twice, worst
Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

0

2 months ago

activity, bite, change, changing, date, dating, eating, every, food, humor, just, me, minutes, restaurant, social, speed, speed date, table, trying
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

0

2 months ago

calm, communication, ever, house, humor, key, lock, locked, talk
When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

0

2 months ago

computer, fix, generation, humor, i, kids, knows, older, only, parents, technology, work, young, youth
Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

0

2 months ago

activity, confuse, confusion, doctor, funny activity, glof, hack, humor, life, life hack, prank, putting, same, time
Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, humor, incorrectly, irony, language, spelled, still, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,881

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Seen just now on Threads:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Trending via Snapchat:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Spotted on WeChat:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Just shared via WeChat:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

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