Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Trending via Twitch:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Just landed via X:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Just landed via Discord:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Trending via YouTube:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

2 months ago

0

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal conundrum – waiting for things to pass while also questioning the cosmic absurdity of it all 🤷‍♂️ Remember, even the weirdest moments eventually become outlandish anecdotes for future laughs! 🌀 #RollWithTheCosmicPunches

hell, humor, irony, life, pass, perspective, struggle, this too shall pass, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

0

2 months ago

desk, fitness, humor, i, joke, labor, manual, manual labor, productivity, resume, standing, standing desk, work
Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

0

2 months ago

chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound
I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

1

3 weeks ago

bedtime, bedtime story, conversation, humor, i, joke, lie, me, relationship, sex, story, tell
When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

0

2 months ago

confusion, culture, flower, hammer, Hammer time, humor, love, name, pop, pop culture, smell, stop, time
You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

0

2 months ago

attitude, bad, bad day, both, day, days, ever, finger, fingers, frustration, funny attitude, humor, humor quote, middle, middle finger, sarcasm
She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

0

2 months ago

contrast, good, good teeth, head, humor, meth, meth head, rare, teeth, uniqueness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,697

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Broadcasted on X:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Live now on Instagram:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Just shared via Messenger:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴