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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Spotted on Telegram:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Spotted on X:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Freshly posted on X:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time flies when you're having fun—or when you just blink! 🎅⏰🙃

celebration, Christmas, date, gone, holiday, quick, surprise, time, tomorrow, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

0

2 months ago

am, apart, falling, i, love, only
The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, marriage, reason, relationship, trend, wedding
I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, forced, humor, interaction, liking, media, online, online interaction, posting, posts, problem, sarcasm, self-confidence, social, social media
I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

0

2 months ago

craving, desire, food, french, french fry, fry, hot, humor, i, just, little, treated, want
Dudes be named Will but won’t.

0

2 months ago

dude, humor, irony, name, Will, won’t
Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

0

2 months ago

50s, aging, both, contacts, doctor, health, humor, life, life stage, pharmacist, stage, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Facebook this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

73 shares on X this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

20 shares on Slack this month:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Shared recently on X:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Trending via Twitch:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨