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Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Going bananas on Threads:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Spotted on Telegram:

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

Trending via Threads:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Making waves on Twitch:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about holiday cheer, humorously implying a lack of Christmas spirit this year.

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Commentary:
Sounds like someone's Navidad needs a reboot! 🎄🔄😂

Christmas, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, phrase, season, Spanish, Spanish phrase, wordplay, year

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54 shares on Telegram this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

51 shares on X this month:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

34 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Just landed via Instagram:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Just landed via Discord:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Making waves on Threads:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨