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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Trending via Instagram:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Reported on TikTok:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Trending via Threads:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, tattoos might limit my job options, but have you seen my personality? It's a real game-changer! 😏💁‍♀️ Who needs a restrictive job when you have charisma oozing out of your pores, am I right?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Making waves on X:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Breaking via Instagram:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Making waves on WeChat:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Shared recently on Slack:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Breaking via TikTok:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

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