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Commentary:
"Trust your gut, they say. But maybe steer clear of the slot machines 🎰. Three out of five ain't bad… unless you're betting your life savings! 😂 #IntuitiveButNotLucky"

casino, decision making, five, gambling, humor, intuition, luck, odds, right, statistics, three, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

0

2 months ago

bag, bean, beans, burrito, food, food humor, food metaphor, funny food, humor, joke, just, metaphor, mexican, Mexican food, sleeping, snack
Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

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2 months ago

boo, childish, fun, having, kid, parenthood, playtime, slime, turn
I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

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2 months ago

communication, email, existence, finds, hope, humor, i, irony, paradox, peace, philosophy, relative
Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

0

2 weeks ago

bro, calling, friend, friend zone, humor, know, relationship, slang, sure, trench, women, zone
Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, days, humor, intelligence, observation, rarity, sense, society, superpower, wisdom
Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

0

1 month ago

app, cause, different, media, multitasking, music, only, playing, social, social media, Twitter, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

24 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

83 shares on X this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Just landed via Threads:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Just landed via YouTube:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Trending via Discord:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Just landed via Discord:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨