Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Three words that strike fear into the hearts of parents everywhere: 'Come on in.' 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Because we all know that's where chaos and mess await! 😂 #ParentingStruggles"

awkward, awkward moment, childcare, come in, date, dropping, ever, gathering, hear, humor, kid, kids, moment, parent, play, play date, social, social gathering, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

0

2 months ago

brain, discovery, humor, i, just, left, left side, mental, mental state, nothing, right, right side, self-awareness, side, state
Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

0

2 months ago

diagnosing, engagement, humor, keep, media, observation, posting, social, social media
How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

0

2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, audible, audible sigh, burn, calorie, credit, exercise, fitness, humor, i, me, sarcasm, self-awareness, sigh, technology, think, watch
I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, analogy, bed, comparison, dog, funny analogy, gas, gas station, hot, hot dog, human, humor, i, self-deprecating, station, stop, tanning, tanning bed, thinking, version
Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

0

2 months ago

hand, humor, inspiration, lemon, others, positivity, want, world
Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, activity, casual, day, doing, doing everything, doing nothing, everything, free, free day, fun, fun activity, knows, leisure, nothing, relaxation, rest, Saturday, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

57 shares on Threads this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Spotted on Discord:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Just landed via WeChat:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Spotted on Discord:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨