Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Going viral on X:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Just shared via X:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Trending via WeChat:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Just shared via Instagram:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's BYOMS (Bring Your Own Milkshake) day! 🥤😂

boys, hope, humor, i, milkshake, own, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yard

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

0

2 months ago

animals, government, humor, moment, pets, sarcasm, talk, tax
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

0

2 months ago

alphabetically, classroom, everyone, funny instruction, height, humor, instruction, irony, line, line up, organization, right
You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

0

2 months ago

40, 9pm, age, bedtime, humor, joke, know, man, night, over, past, real, reality, Santa
All my small talk is done with a car horn.

0

2 months ago

car, car horn, communication, done, driving, horn, humor, interaction, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

1 month ago

bra, dyslexia, dyslexic, humor, joke, man, pun, walking, walks, wordplay
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

0

2 months ago

fun, games, mouth, opera, shampoo, shower, singing, soap

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

89 shares on Threads this month:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

84 shares on Reddit this month:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

72 shares on Telegram this month:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Trending via Threads:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Shared recently on Messenger:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Going bananas on Discord:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Making waves on Twitch:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨