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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Seen just now on X:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Broadcasted on X:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Spotted on YouTube:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Just landed via Facebook:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's BYOMS (Bring Your Own Milkshake) day! 🥤😂

boys, hope, humor, i, milkshake, own, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yard

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

0

5 months ago

behavior, comment, comments, Funny, humor, internet, online, online behavior, porn, porn site, site, why
IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

0

2 months ago

arrival, cheaper, comparison, cook, doing, food, having, here, humor, IKEA, products, should, still, takeout, work
Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, bizarre, came, creativity, david, David Lynch, humor, humor in life, life, lynch, menstruation, something
Tested positive for needing a kiss.

0

2 months ago

humor, kiss, love, need, positive, relationship, tested
Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

0

2 months ago

dining, friends, Google, humor, menu, people, preparation, restaurant, social, yourself
If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

0

2 months ago

easily, even, humor, internet, irony, media, offended, online, sarcasm, social, social media, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

20 shares on X this month:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

91 shares on X this month:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

80 shares on Threads this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Seen just now on Threads:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Just landed via YouTube:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Making waves on Instagram:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just shared via Threads:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Breaking via Reddit:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Trending via Threads:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨