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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Making waves on Facebook:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Making waves on Slack:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Spotted on YouTube:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Going bananas on X:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Going viral on YouTube:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂👚 "Supporting an accidental new fashion line: 'Oops, It's Pink!' Let's make laundry mix-ups trend!" 👗🧺

awareness, forget, humor, laundry, me, mishap, people, pink, raise, red, today, washing, white

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

0

2 months ago

AI, boyfriend, ChatGPT, dating, humor, joke, message, messages, relationship, technology, using
Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

0

2 months ago

anything, arguing, argument, family, humor, kid, kids, love, much, sibling
Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

0

2 months ago

80s, cartoons, feelings, gadget, inspector, Inspector Gadget, kids, mixed, mixed feelings, movy, nostalgia, technology, Terminator
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

0

5 months ago

bisexual, confusing, confusion, every, frequency, humor, once, relationship, sexual, term, twice, week
How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

0

2 months ago

1, 2, 3, ago, bed, bedtime, clean, cleaning, corner, distraction, five, hours, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, procrastination, room, six, something, stare, start, vintage
Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

0

3 months ago

affection, animal, animal behavior, apology, behavior, excited, excitement, greeting, humor, i, running, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

81 shares on X this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

45 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Trending via WeChat:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Going viral on Slack:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Going viral on TikTok:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Going viral on Instagram:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Going viral on Instagram:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Going viral on Messenger:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨