Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Trending via Twitch:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Just shared via X:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Just landed via Telegram:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂👚 "Supporting an accidental new fashion line: 'Oops, It's Pink!' Let's make laundry mix-ups trend!" 👗🧺

awareness, forget, humor, laundry, me, mishap, people, pink, raise, red, today, washing, white

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, colonel, feel, group, group psychosis, humor, language, linguistics, pronunciation, psychosis, word
Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, just, mindset, problem, stress, worry, worrying, worship
Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

0

2 months ago

affection, angel, compliment, digital, digital interaction, equivalent, forehead, humor, interaction, kindness, kissing, liking, me, media, post, social, social media
I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

0

3 months ago

actually, confusion, decision, hate, humor, i, indecisive, know, right, self-deprecation, word
Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

0

2 months ago

agenda, event, hear, humor, irony, me, party, people, reveal, social, social event, trust
A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

0

2 months ago

end, fundraising, humor, hunger, irony, jar, media, satire, social, social media, swear, swear jar, Twitter, world, world hunger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

29 shares on Slack this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Trending via Discord:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Just landed via Threads:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Shared recently on X:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨