Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.