Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Going viral on X:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Spotted on Facebook:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Broadcasted on X:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Just landed via Threads:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Going viral on Messenger:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Is it possible to file a complaint with the calendar committee? 🤔 This week needs a serious quality check! 📅🤣"

confusion, ever, Friday, history, humor, irony, misday, mistaken, Monday, Thursday, today, Wednesday, weekday

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23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

25 shares on X this month:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Making waves on X:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Spotted on Messenger:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Trending via WeChat:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Just shared via Threads:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Going viral on Discord:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨