Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Spotted on X:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Just landed via YouTube:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Spotted on Instagram:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Trending via YouTube:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says going topless is only for cars and beaches? 🚗🏖️ Embrace the topless trend and flaunt that brain power! 🧠💪 #BrainsOverBrawn"

always, brain, breasts, convertible, humor, mean, means, topless, wit, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

0

5 months ago

beauty, i, older, respect, said, sleeping, Sleeping Beauty, world
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

0

5 months ago

advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store
An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where
Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

0

4 months ago

Adele, away, cloud, drifting, fluffy, hard, lullaby, morning, night, sleeping, soft, while, why
I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

0

2 months ago

dislike, humor, i, mature, maturity, Monday, routine, week, whole, work
Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

0

2 months ago

attempt, exercise, fitness, humor, morning, motivation, work, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Just landed via Instagram:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Live now on YouTube:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Seen just now on Messenger:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Just shared via TikTok:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Live now on Slack:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Just landed via Threads:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨