Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

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The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

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Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

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Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

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If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

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Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

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I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

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After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

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Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

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Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

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I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.