Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.