Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

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If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

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That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

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Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

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Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

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Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

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My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

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If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

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I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

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Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

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Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.