Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Freshly posted on X:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Spotted on Threads:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Shared recently on X:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Typos are the spice of life! 🎲📧 Who knew autocorrect was a prankster in disguise? 😅🖋️"

email, every, gamble, humble, humility, humor, keep, me, mistakes, technology, typo, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

0

2 months ago

conflict, couple, every, hanging, humor, interaction, love, me, never, relationship, sarcasm, saying, social, social interaction, time
Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

0

2 months ago

humor, me, relationship, safe, secret, sister, trust
Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

0

2 months ago

attractive, attractiveness, aviator, confidence, fashion, humor, men, science, wear
I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

0

2 months ago

crazy, fun, humor, just, mentally, personality, self-description, spicy
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

0

2 months ago

caution, change, change clothes, clothes, glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, irony, live, people, privacy, vulnerability
My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

71 shares on Slack this month:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Going viral on Twitch:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Breaking via X:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Just landed via Facebook:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Breaking via Instagram:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Going viral on Reddit:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Live now on Messenger:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Just shared via Slack:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨