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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Making waves on Telegram:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Going viral on Telegram:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Just shared via WeChat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Corporate life hack: Pretend the office coffee is a $9 latte by adding a dash of imagination! ☕🤑 #OfficeGourmet"

9, coffee, comparison, expense, free, hit, humor, iced, iced latte, latte, luxury, never, office, preference, unfortunately

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

0

2 months ago

am, company, food, General, humor, i, pizza, preference, relationship, solitude
I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

0

2 months ago

crisis, existential, humor, i, joke, life, midlife, need, perspective, whole
Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, boring, climbing, cold, death, dumb, everest, fun, fun activity, just, looks, mount, Mount Everest, opinion, personal, personal opinion, risk, super, thanks, uphill, walk
My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, feeling, hobby, humor, rest, sleeping
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

0

3 weeks ago

attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response
And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

0

5 months ago

digital, digital file, file, grandchild, grandchildren, humor, i, inheritance, leave, PDF, procrastination, unread

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

47 shares on X this month:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Going bananas on Threads:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Going viral on YouTube:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨