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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dear music, thanks!

Just shared via TikTok:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Live now on Pinterest:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Making waves on Twitch:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

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Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.
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Commentary:
I finally found a way to make my veggies stop screaming for help: deep fry them! 🥦🍟🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

17 shares on X this month:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Just shared via YouTube:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Just shared via Pinterest:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Seen just now on YouTube:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Going viral on Telegram:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Going viral on Reddit:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Trending via WeChat:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

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