Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Going viral on YouTube:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Live now on Messenger:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Just landed via Slack:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Going viral on WeChat:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Witty quote about payroll confusion, highlighting humor in tax and gross pay.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Isn't it ironic that 'gross pay' seems much less appealing once the tax takes a bite? It's like biting into what you thought was a delicious donut only to find out it's actually a broccoli 😂💸 #TaxTimeBlues"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Messenger this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

32 shares on Threads this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My body looks like I have a great personality.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Trending via Slack:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Breaking via Discord:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Seen just now on X:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Just landed via Telegram:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Seen just now on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴