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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Spotted on Threads:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Making waves on Slack:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Seen just now on Threads:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Just landed via Threads:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Just landed via Messenger:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌞☕️ Uh oh, looks like waking up is playing hard to get with you. It's like your alarm clock is saying, "Nice try, snooze master!" 😄 Maybe it's time to negotiate a better morning routine… or just hit that snooze button one last time! ⏰💤

backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

33 shares on X this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Making waves on Slack:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Just shared via X:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Making waves on Twitch:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

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