Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Going viral on Messenger:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Going bananas on Slack:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Going viral on Telegram:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌞☕️ Uh oh, looks like waking up is playing hard to get with you. It's like your alarm clock is saying, "Nice try, snooze master!" 😄 Maybe it's time to negotiate a better morning routine… or just hit that snooze button one last time! ⏰💤

backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

94 shares on X this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

20 shares on Discord this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Just shared via Facebook:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Live now on X:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Just shared via TikTok:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Just landed via YouTube:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Seen just now on Telegram:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴