Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Trending via WeChat:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Just landed via Reddit:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Seen just now on X:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Threads:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adding my own director's commentary with a side of laser precision 🎬🔦😂

behavior, entertainment, experience, funny behavior, humor, laser, laser pointer, looking, movie, optimal, optimal viewing, pointer, should, using, viewer, viewing, watching, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

0

3 months ago

app, authentication, Authenticator, authenticator app, breaking, breaking point, frustration, point, security, technology, two-factor, two-factor authentication
It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

0

2 months ago

checking, door, front, front door, heat, hot, i, outside, oven, summer, thought, weather
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

0

2 months ago

art, back, guy, humor, opera, performance, singing, stabbing
I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

0

2 months ago

comedy, expert, humor, i, joke, politics, sarcasm, satire, think, UK, unity
Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

0

2 months ago

2030, age, age difference, appearance, difference, feel, feeling, humor, just, millennials, old
I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

0

2 months ago

age, broke, discomfort, feel, getting, getting older, humor, neck, older, pillow, sleep, where, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Going viral on Messenger:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Just landed via Messenger:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Shared recently on X:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨