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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,785

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Spotted on X:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Live now on Instagram:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
😂 Guess I know who to avoid at all costs! Wouldn't want my future self mad at me! 🕰️🚫🙈

coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a little freak is my love language.

5 months ago
being, freak, humor, language, little, love, love language, personality, quirky
When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

1 month ago
being, big, context, drama, fan, hate, humor, i, involvement, mean, people, say
Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

3 months ago
age, apocalypse, dark, dark age, downturn, economic, economic downturn, future, humor, recession, sarcasm, slang, worry
I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

2 months ago
activity, discomfort, drinking, favorite, fun, hobby, humor, i, making, people, sarcasm, still, swearing, time, uncomfortable
Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

1 month ago
activity, anxiety, attack, fun, fun activity, humor, Jaws, playing, song, spice, spice up, theme, theme song
My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

1 month ago
advice, communication, counseling, couples, couples counseling, girlfriend, humor, i, knows, relationship, should, therapist, therapy, try, wrong

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Trending via Reddit:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Seen just now on Discord:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Just landed via Slack:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Being a little freak is my love language.

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

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We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being a little freak is my love language.

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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