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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Going viral on X:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Making waves on WeChat:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Just shared via Threads:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.
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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'Let's make changes and hope they don't notice' technique. A bold strategy, indeed! 🤣🤷‍♂️ #ProblemSolving101"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

25 shares on X this month:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

11 shares on Threads this month:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Spotted on Twitch:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Live now on Pinterest:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Live now on Discord:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Going bananas on Threads:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Breaking via Instagram:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Just landed via WeChat:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

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