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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

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2 months ago

activity, amazing, big, eating, fast, fast food, fat, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, i, indulgence, love, overweight, self-deprecating
If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

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2 months ago

attitude, audacity, days, generation, humor, kids, perfume, sarcasm, youth
That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

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2 months ago

annoying, annoying moment, autocorrect, communication, conversation, humor, moment, someone, technology, texting
The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

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2 months ago

after, days, five, humor, Monday, relatable, weekend, work, worst
This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

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2 months ago

adulting, chapter, financial, financial status, humor, life, life chapter, paid, positivity, rent, self-deprecation, status, struggles
Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

0

2 months ago

alternate, chop, cry, human, humans, humor, know, onion, onions, universe, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

96 shares on X this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

67 shares on Twitch this month:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Spotted on X:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Breaking via WeChat:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Going viral on YouTube:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Making waves on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Making waves on Reddit:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

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Activity Log ✨

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨