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"Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same… I also perform better with a little treat every now and then 🍪😅 #CookieLoversUnite"

cooky, humor, internet, me, performance, relatable, same, self-deprecation, snack, technology, website

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Spotted on Telegram:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I need a day off from myself.

Spotted on X:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Going viral on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Going viral on X:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

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Activity Log ✨

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨