Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Going viral on X:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Just landed via Slack:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Just landed via YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Making waves on Messenger:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the highlight of your day is finding the perfect nap position ☕😴 #50sLife

50s, coffee, hangover, happy, happy hour, hour, morning, mornings, new, welcome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

0

3 months ago

am, ask, communication, function, hate, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, much, others, people, personality, quiet, rude, rudeness, social, social interaction, talk, talking, why
I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

0

2 months ago

adult, being, humor, hurt, i, irony, life, love, neck, sitting, still
Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

0

2 months ago

anything, boundary, food, good, humor, i, love, lyrics, means, meatloaf, music, music reference, reference, relationship, safe, safe word, word
I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, money, pasta, ramen, vodka
People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

0

5 months ago

bro, finance, honesty, humor, irresponsible, joke, just, me, money, people, personal, personal finance, rich, spending, think
Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

0

5 months ago

around, everyone, guide, humor, i, job, joke, just, knowing, knowledge, love, me, need, only, think, tour, tour guide, travel, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

48 shares on Slack this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Making waves on YouTube:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Seen just now on X:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Freshly posted on X:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Shared recently on Threads:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Just landed via Slack:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Trending via Threads:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Just landed via X:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨