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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Making waves on Threads:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Live now on Pinterest:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

We’ve got a shituation here.

3 weeks ago

Funny pun about a tricky situation, featuring playful, witty text.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like it’s time to call in the poo-lice! 🚨💩😂"

comedy, got, here, humor, humor quote, humorous, situation, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Slack this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

38 shares on Threads this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

37 shares on Discord this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Just landed via X:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Going viral on WeChat:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Spotted on YouTube:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Spotted on Twitch:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Just landed via Instagram:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Making waves on Threads:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Just landed via X:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We’ve got a shituation here.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We’ve got a shituation here.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨