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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going viral on Pinterest:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Just shared via Slack:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Trending via TikTok:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Just shared via Telegram:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

We’ve got a shituation here.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like it’s time to call in the poo-lice! 🚨💩😂"

comedy, got, here, humor, humor quote, humorous, situation, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

2 weeks ago

congratulations, getting, humor, light, red, red light, sarcasm, special, traffic
Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

2 months ago

advice, calm, coming, conversation, demon, humor, Lucifer, me, right, thing, yourself
I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

2 months ago

20, aging, bad, bad eating habit, body, body image, eating, exercise, habit, habits, hate, humor, humorous, humorous observation, i, image, myself, no exercise, observation, picture, self-awareness, selfie, take
My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

2 months ago

bartender, business, humor, interaction, me, mind, privacy, rest, social, social interaction, trauma
I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

2 months ago

Banjo, Chandelier, humor, influencer, Instagram, kid, kids, mom, name, parenting, Parmesan
Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

2 months ago

around, cat, comfort, doing, humor, humor quote, laying, laziness, least, less, me, pet, relaxation, support, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

80 shares on Slack this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Trending via Instagram:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Spreading quickly via X:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Just landed via Messenger:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Going viral on Telegram:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We’ve got a shituation here.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨