Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

If youโ€™re going to text your boss that youโ€™re an hour late, make sure you end with, โ€œIโ€™m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

As highly as itโ€™s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on WeChat:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Making waves on Twitch:

Women are actually very understanding if youโ€™re honest with them, especially if they like you. You donโ€™t even have to do all that lying.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Making waves on TikTok:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didnโ€™t care what the weather was going to do.

Just landed via Discord:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Going viral on YouTube:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Just landed via Facebook:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Witty text about bleak job options for unmotivated, socially awkward individuals.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Welcome to the prestigious field of Professional Couch Enthusiast! ๐Ÿ›‹๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ†

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
โœจ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

14 shares on Threads this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who donโ€™t have cars?

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

96 shares on Discord this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you hide the Easter eggs while youโ€™re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I probably think this song is about me.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have so many mood swings, Iโ€™m basically a swing now.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Therapy isnโ€™t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, โ€œI hope there are no emergencies.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

The only way Iโ€™m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Spotted on Pinterest:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Trending via X:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Spotted on Threads:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I wonโ€™t do it again. And then would you believe.

Seen just now on Threads:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Seen just now on Telegram:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Trending via Twitch:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Making waves on Messenger:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Spotted on Messenger:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Trending via Telegram:

Iโ€™m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด