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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Breaking via YouTube:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Just shared via X:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Just landed via Threads:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Seen just now on Threads:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Going bananas on Instagram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When in doubt, consult the cocktail amendment! 🍹🍸😉

alcohol, drink, humor, international, international law, law, margarita, question, say, third

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

0

2 months ago

contemplation, endarkenment, enlightenment, humor, irony, philosophy, questions, reach, wisdom
My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

0

2 months ago

able, back, chores, clean, clean house, extra, funny parenting, guests, hard, home, house, humor, just, kids, messy, messy state, morning, normal, parenting, state, time, work
An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

0

2 months ago

40, activity, bag, bean, bean bag chair, bed, bouncy, bouncy house, chair, challenge, escape, escape room, fun, fun activity, good, good luck, hammock, house, humor, luck, over, over 40, playful, playful challenge, room, water, water bed
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

0

2 months ago

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign
Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

0

3 months ago

affection, dating, girlfriend, having, humor, insane, insanity, let, literally, relationship, touch
Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bear, group, hike, humor, nature, options, outdoors, safety, wildlife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t hate me, date me!

66 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

30 shares on Discord this month:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Going bananas on Discord:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending via Threads:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨