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Commentary:
"Oh no, imagine embarking on a wild gummy bear hunt! 🍬🐻 Who knew grocery store aisles were their natural habitat? Better sharpen those skills with a candy safari guide! 🤣 #WildGummyBearChase"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Slack this month:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

44 shares on X this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

39 shares on Discord this month:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Just landed via X:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Trending via TikTok:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Just shared via X:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Going viral on Facebook:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

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Activity Log ✨

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Come on, karma, do your job.

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Come on, karma, do your job.

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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