Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Going viral on Telegram:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Spotted on Messenger:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Trending via WeChat:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your brain's paranoia is actually just psychic ability 😂🔮🧠

called, humor, overthinking, question, realization, right, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

0

2 weeks ago

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too
I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

0

2 months ago

bad, humor, i, irony, much, offer, self-deprecation, still
Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

0

2 months ago

beach, dating, feet, foot, going, guy, humor, insane, preference
Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

0

2 months ago

40s, advice, aging, apple, apples, doctors, health, humor, matter, need, welcome
I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

0

2 months ago

arrest, arrested, believe, doing, doing nothing, humor, i, impersonation, irony, just, nothing, politician, satire, sitting
Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

0

3 months ago

adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on X this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

30 shares on X this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

75 shares on Slack this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

18 shares on Twitch this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Shared recently on Reddit:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Going viral on Instagram:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Just landed via Reddit:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Spotted on Reddit:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Just landed via YouTube:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨