Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Trending via Discord:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Going viral on X:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Just landed via TikTok:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Shared recently on Threads:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just remember: an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute! Choose wisely! 😂✈️🪂

beginner, beginners, getting, humor, mindset, motivation, optimism, positive, positive thought, self-improvement, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

0

2 months ago

always, avoidance, high, high school, humor, ID, me, nostalgia, reunion, saw, school, seen, someone, year’s
I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

0

4 months ago

condiment, cooking, exaggeration, food, humor, i, kitchen, know, love, much, sauce, seasoning, soy, soy sauce, taste, too
I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

0

2 months ago

creative, creative writing, fiction, humor, joke, list, lists, productivity, short, short fiction, to-do, to-do list, writing
No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

0

6 months ago

babe, humor, joke, just, love, partner, relationship, soulmate, worry
I need to start hiding my money from myself.

0

2 months ago

finance, hiding, humor, i, money, myself, need, procrastination, self, spending, start
Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

0

1 month ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, boundary, communication, elephant, humor, maybe, personal, personal space, respect, should, space, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

62 shares on Threads this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Live now on Snapchat:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Going viral on X:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Freshly posted on X:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨