Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet taste of rebellion! 🍦🌟 Who knew that dinner time rules were meant to be broken? If only we could whisper to our younger selves: 'Forget the veggies, go straight for the sprinkles!' 😉 #IceCreamRevolution"

advice, cream, dinner, freedom, fun, ice, ice cream, indulgence, nobody, self, stop, tell, younger, younger self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

0

2 months ago

astrology, blame, blaming, failures, growth, humor, learn, lightheartedness, personal, personal growth, planets, self-help, stop, yourself
We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

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2 months ago

access, beliefs, communication, humor, internet, media, much, never, opinions, social, social media, stupid, thoughts
Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

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3 days ago

bedtime, bedtime procrastination, control, control issue, day, day end, end, feels, give, issue, last, personal, personal time, procrastination, sleep, sleep issue, time, yours
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

0

2 months ago

agreement, commitment, confusion, expectation, good, humor, lot, me, meeting, realization, response, saying, sounds, workplace
Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, dishes, forget, forgetting, frustration, gun, household, humor, shooting
I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

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2 months ago

animal, blub, brain, emotion, feeling, feelings, heart, humor, i, jellyfish, just, pain, simplicity, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Living la vida taco!

96 shares on Slack this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

21 shares on Threads this month:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

85 shares on Reddit this month:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Broadcasted on X:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Live now on YouTube:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Just landed via Slack:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Seen just now on Threads:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Making waves on X:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Just landed via WeChat:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨