Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.
  • I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.
  • I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.
  • Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.
  • The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.
  • While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.