Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Trending via Facebook:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just landed via X:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Breaking via Discord:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Trending via Twitch:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Asking for permission is critical unless you want to be struck by a flying shoe 🚀😂🥿

ask, bandaid, best, consent, decision, humor, i, pain, permission, quick, slow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

0

2 months ago

age, AI, being, digital, digital age, gap, generational, generational gap, having, humor, internet, irony, parents, technology, tell, thanks, told, trust, us
I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

0

2 months ago

am, expression, face, honesty, humor, i, reaction, responsibility, talk
My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

0

5 months ago

atonement, bill, cell, cell phone bill, consciousness, creating, dad, family, humor, monthly, original, original sin, pay, phone, responsibility, sin
I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

0

5 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulting, feel, humor, i, large, life, life struggle, looking, portion, procrastination, responsibility, struggle
Unfollowers, take me with you!

0

2 months ago

disconnect, humor, me, media, relationship, social, social media, take, unfollower
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

0

4 months ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

36 shares on X this month:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

54 shares on X this month:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Making waves on Discord:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Just landed via TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Making waves on X:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Trending via WeChat:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Unfollowers, take me with you!

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨