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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Going viral on TikTok:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Going viral on Pinterest:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Just shared via Discord:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Just landed via Telegram:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Breaking via Slack:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Trending via Telegram:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Breaking via WeChat:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

2 months ago

0

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone is not a fan of the month of love feeling shortchanged! 😆 Who needs a longer February when we can have more opportunities for chocolates and flowers, am I right? 🍫💐 But seriously, poor February getting picked on like this! 🗓️ #JusticeForFebruary

14th, 30th, 31st, calendar, date, February, humor, joke, month, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

0

2 months ago

advice, book, buy, humor, irony, joke, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, writing
People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, brain, brains, head, heads, humor, inside, irony, just, maybe, people
I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

0

2 months ago

activity, again, drinking, fun, going, humor, later, never, promise, something, today
Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

0

2 days ago

anyone, bottle, buy, condiment, enough, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, lived, longevity, sauce, second, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce
Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

0

2 months ago

consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time
Not my room, not my elephant.

0

3 months ago

elephant, humor, indifference, responsibility, room

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Just shared via Messenger:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Just landed via Reddit:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Breaking via Pinterest:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

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