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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I have a lot to offer! Most of itโ€™s bad, but itโ€™s still a lot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that Iโ€™m getting work done.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Gaslighting myself into thinking Iโ€™m in a good mood.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Tell me Iโ€™d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, but itโ€™s not even Thursday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Airport security asked me if Iโ€™ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Letโ€™s start with that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Spotted on Slack:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Shared recently on Threads:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Going viral on TikTok:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Shared recently on Threads:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Seen just now on YouTube:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

(To my coworker thatโ€™s a year younger than me) Youโ€™re like a son to me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Funny quote about losing oneself for nearly a decade, playful and self-deprecating humor.
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Commentary:
"BRB, just took a detour through the Twilight Zone! โณ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿš€"

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

14 shares on Discord this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just told my cat Iโ€™d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighborโ€™s house that no one likes.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

I be outside telling people I donโ€™t got social media when they ask.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Calling someone a โ€œtough cookieโ€ isnโ€™t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Snapchat:

This canโ€™t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, โ€œthis looks like a job for a binder clip.โ€

Just landed via X:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Going viral on WeChat:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Live now on Reddit:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Just shared via Messenger:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Spotted on WeChat:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and youโ€™re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Trending via Facebook:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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