Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Live now on Pinterest:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Trending via TikTok:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Trending via Reddit:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Spotted on Reddit:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, just took a detour through the Twilight Zone! ⏳😂🚀"

age, forgetfulness, humor, humor about age, loss, lost, myself, self-deprecating, time, whoops

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

2 months ago

carefree, emergency, hammock, hope, humor, i, laying, leisure, relaxation, saying
What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

1 week ago

adversity, humor, kill, life, pain, resilience, sarcasm, struggle, wish
Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, blurt, conversation, getting, humor, intro, moment, mother-in-law, point, skip
My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

5 months ago

dream, excuse, humor, i, jealousy, just, mad, marriage, me, relationship, say, second, secret, wife
I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

2 months ago

candle, chance, charm, curtains, cute, danger, fire, good, humor, i, left, nice, personality, pretty, smell, unattended
Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

2 months ago

before, clean, friendship, honesty, humor, relationship, tidy, visitors

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love unplanned fun.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Making waves on Slack:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Live now on Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Spotted on Telegram:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨