Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Babies need an off switch like TVs 🎛️📺 Just click, and they're snoozing! 😴😆

baby, bro, cry, humor, just, parenting, sleep, stopping, tired, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, Instagram, just, media, outdoors, outside, people, social, social media, Twitter
The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

0

5 months ago

apology, everything, family, hear, humor, i, mom, parent, patience, realization, right, someday, sorry, truth, wait, words
I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

0

2 months ago

education, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, know, put, question, school, teacher, work
If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

0

2 months ago

asking, cue, funny observation, humor, mean, observation, queue, sarcasm, shit, social, social cue, someone, waiting
Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

0

2 months ago

communication, couple, couple humor, eye, eye roll, funny relationship, goal, humor, relationship, relationship goal, roll, rolls, sarcasm
A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

0

2 months ago

desire, humor, Italy, money, month, motivation, travel, vacation, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

94 shares on X this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

60 shares on Slack this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Live now on WeChat:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Just landed via Discord:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Just landed via Messenger:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨