Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Making waves on WeChat:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Going bananas on X:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Breaking via Discord:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Trending via Instagram:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the Earth turns out to be a skatepark for cats, I'm ready! 🛹🐱🌍

belief, care, conspiracy, Earth, earther, flat, Flat Earther, humor, much, question, skepticism, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

0

3 months ago

bag, candy, giant, giant size, humor, me, necessary, resealable, size, snack
Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

0

2 months ago

cheat, humor, plot, plot twist, ta, tax, twist
There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

0

2 months ago

another, fencing, guys, humorous, joke, kiss, kissing, playful, romantic, should, sport, trying, variant
Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

0

2 months ago

apologize, car, driving, hit, humor, i, personality, personification, pothole, sometimes, vehicle
I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

0

2 weeks ago

budgeting, finance, hate, humor, i, lose, math, me, money, personal, personal finance, self blame, spending, where
I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

0

2 months ago

activity, bill, bills, brisk, brisk walk, dinner, fortune, humor, lifestyle, me, restaurant, restaurant bill, saving, savings, straight, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

22 shares on X this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Just landed via Threads:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Spotted on Messenger:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨