Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Seems like they want the cake and eat it, or in this case, complain about the portion size and still enjoy the finger food! 🍰🤭 #SizeMattersButFingersDoItBetter

complain, fingered, humor, irony, moan, relationship, size, why, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

0

2 months ago

craving, donut, donuts, food, humor, mind, sight, temptation, work
I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

0

2 months ago

air, bag, chip, chips, company, enough, humor, i, joke, kind, little, parody, playful, potato, potato chip, put, satire, snack, snack humor, today, well
If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, billboard, company, decide, ever, humor, i, invest, investment, joke, lottery, secret, signs, tell, wealth, win
Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

0

2 months ago

boomerang, call, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, missed, missed call, parents, phone, wordplay
Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, busy, funny observation, nobody, notice, noticed, observation, said, self-consciousness, social, social anxiety, thing, too, weird, weird thing, worry
One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, comfort, fan, fear, fears, having, humor, sleep, survival, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Discord this month:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

32 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

13 shares on Discord this month:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Just shared via Threads:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Live now on Twitch:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Freshly posted on X:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Spotted on X:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Just landed via TikTok:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨