Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,015

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Spotted on Telegram:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Live now on Threads:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Trending via Snapchat:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Trending via Threads:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Spotted on Pinterest:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Atoms: breaking apart since the dawn of time, but still better at keeping secrets than I am at keeping WiFi connections stable! 😂🔌📶

atoms, caught, chemistry, fission, humor, joke, just, never, pun, science, trust, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

4 months ago

5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

1 month ago

childhood, fun, kindergarten, leisure, life, nap, read, reading, relaxation, simple, simple life, snack, time, want
A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

1 month ago

appreciation, bee, beekeepers, big, hero, humor, profession, shoutout, sting
The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

1 month ago

aging, daily, daily routine, day, funny observation, humor, humor quote, i, just, morning, observation, older, rooster, routine, scream, start, understand, wake up, why
I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

2 months ago

dropping, dropping off, health, humor, i, joke, just, know, me, men, mental, mental health, relationship, spot, start, therapy
Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

1 month ago

affect, confusion, effect, Googling, grammar, humor, incognito, internet, search, vs, window

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Making waves on Twitch:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

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Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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