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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Going viral on Telegram:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Spotted on Threads:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Just landed via X:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seriously, why do we have to pretend we're all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼‍♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Reported on Discord:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Trending via Reddit:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Breaking via X:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Spotted on Discord:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

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