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Commentary:
"Seriously, why do we have to pretend we're all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼‍♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded"

celebration, comment, event, funny comment, holiday, humor, okay, public, public holiday, sports, sports event, wild, Wrestlemania

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

5 months ago

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work
I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

6 months ago

alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought
Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, excuse, humor, me, procrastination, self-deprecation, today
I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

3 months ago

adult, am, cartoons, childhood, discussion, full, hole, humor, i, listen, me, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, plot, plot hole
If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

2 months ago

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win
Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

2 months ago

again, awkwardness, embarrassment, humor, i, never, own, recording, self-deprecating, speak, speech, voice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Discord this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

31 shares on X this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

81 shares on X this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Going viral on Discord:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Just shared via Slack:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Making waves on Messenger:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Just landed via Reddit:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨