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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Breaking via Discord:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Just shared via Messenger:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Live now on Instagram:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Spotted on Reddit:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a selfie with extra steps! 📸😂

body, frustration, humor, i, own, photography, picture, pictures, self, selfie, step, take, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

1 month ago
aspirations, dream, dream job, dude, humor, i, job, just, know, life, me, relatable, someone, work
The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

1 month ago
bond, character, confidence, hotel, hotel room, humor, incredible, james, James Bond, know, observation, room, shower, skills, spy, thing, walk
These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

1 month ago
birthday, calendar, days, Facebook, fun, humor, i, media, online, social, social media, technology
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

1 month ago
anxiety, funny situation, give, humor, joke, just, me, panic, panic room, quick, quick response, response, room, second, situation
Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

1 month ago
dislike, everyone, humor, interaction, life, narcissist, personal, personal life, personality, professional, professional life, relationship, social, social interaction
Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

2 months ago
being, communication, couple, humor, marriage, married, means, relationships, rooms, shouting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Going viral on YouTube:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Making waves on YouTube:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

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Activity Log ✨

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

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Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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