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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Just shared via Twitch:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Live now on Messenger:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Going bananas on Instagram:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Making waves on Telegram:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Spotted on Instagram:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

2 months ago

0

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal allure of a dimly-lit cobblestone street and a devilish companion! 😈🌃 Sounds like the perfect recipe for a memorable night out. Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can stroll with the devil in style, right ladies? 😉👠 #DevilishlyDelightful

activity, cobblestone, date, devil, dimly-lit, fun, fun activity, only, street, thing, walk, want, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

0

2 months ago

bed, everything, forget, humor, i, magical, magical place, memory, place, procrastination, remember
Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, Beyoncé, career, celebrity, conversation, fan, Goldmember, humor, i, just, meeting, moment, music, nothing
Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

0

5 months ago

calm, chill, folks, humor, joke, just, reality, simulation, virtual, virtual reality
I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, etiquette, humor, i, love, media, message, rest, sarcasm, social, social media, solve, someone, texting, texting etiquette, texts
You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

0

2 months ago

assertiveness, carry, chainsaw, confidence, explain, humor, intimidation, need, tool, yourself
Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

0

2 months ago

alien, buying, car, event, humor, imagination, imagine, new, superhero, unexpected, unexpected event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

69 shares on Slack this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Spotted on Facebook:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Just landed via Telegram:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

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