Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Trending via Messenger:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Going bananas on Slack:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Just shared via Messenger:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Just shared via X:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I should've asked Santa for a financial advisor instead of toys! 🎅💰😂

i, kindergarten, life, money, saving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

2 months ago

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique
There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bar, disgusting, humor, interaction, over, pervert, pornography, shoulder, situation, social, social interaction, watching
Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

2 months ago

avoidance, decision, due, humor, i, not wanting, wanting, will not be
Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

2 months ago

absurdity, broken, cooking, day, even, food, fry, humor, irony, rice, shrimp, twice
Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

2 months ago

advice, apps, directions, humor, just, map, mean, note, paved, road, self, travel
You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

2 months ago

bad, compliment, ever, humor, interaction, know, met, people, person, personality, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Spotted on TikTok:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Going viral on Telegram:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Going viral on Slack:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨