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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Trending via Reddit:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Seen just now on Slack:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Breaking via Twitch:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Making waves on Telegram:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess my charm isn't appetizing, but at least the leftovers were! 🍽️😂 #DinnerWin"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Making waves on Discord:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Breaking via Twitch:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The shitshow must go on.

Spotted on Messenger:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Going viral on YouTube:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

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